fix(marmot,cli,interop): interop-compatible Marmot flows and harness correctness

Five protocol-level fixes and a batch of harness correctness fixes to get
the headless Marmot/Whitenoise interop harness from 1/13 to 5/13 passing
cleanly, with the remaining failures all rooted in wn's per-account
serial event-processor retry backoff (which drops undecryptable
pre-membership commits after several minutes) rather than amy behaviour.

quartz + commons
----------------
* MarmotGroupData: hold CURRENT_VERSION at 2. mdk-core (the Rust MLS
  engine used by whitenoise-rs) strict-rejects v3 payloads with
  `ExtensionFormatError("Trailing bytes in NostrGroupDataExtension")`
  — our v3 welcomes and GCE commits never apply, so every cross-client
  group flow dies at welcome processing. We still parse v3 happily on
  the way in; we just don't emit it until mdk publishes the
  forward-compat fix MIP-01 mandates.
* MarmotManager.updateGroupMetadata: MERGE extensions instead of
  REPLACING. RFC 9420 §12.1.7 says GCE proposals blow away the old
  extension list; callers that pass only [marmot_group_data] dropped
  [required_capabilities], which peers then reject. Preserve every slot
  except the one we're updating.
* MarmotManager.createGroup: new optional `initialMetadata` parameter
  that bakes MarmotGroupData into epoch-0 GroupContext.extensions
  directly. Without it, creators had to publish a pre-membership
  "bootstrap" commit that no later joiner could decrypt — each such
  peer then burned their retry budget on an undecryptable kind:445
  before seeing the real state. Threaded through MlsGroup.create /
  MlsGroupManager.createGroup.
* MarmotManager.mlsGroupIdHex: new translation helper so any code
  juggling the MIP-01 nostr_group_id (what amy indexes on) and the
  MLS GroupContext groupId (what mdk indexes on) can cross-reference
  them without reaching into MlsGroupManager directly.

amethyst module
---------------
* Account.leaveMarmotGroup: self-demote before SelfRemove per MIP-01,
  and promote a surviving member to admin first if the caller is the
  sole admin (otherwise we'd throw "admin depletion"). Matches the
  cli/GroupMembershipCommands.leave flow.

cli (amy)
---------
* Context.syncIncoming: don't advance `giftWrapSince` on empty polls
  (so the first-ever sync doesn't bump the cursor past every
  past-timestamped wrap we've ever been sent), subtract 2 days lookback
  when filtering (NIP-59 randomWithTwoDays gift wraps can have any
  createdAt in the last 48h), and only advance `groupSince` for groups
  we actually received events for.
* Context.syncIncoming: after ingest, if any Welcome consumed a
  KeyPackage, rotate and publish a fresh one immediately. MIP-00
  requires this — a KP can only be welcomed once and leaving the
  consumed one on relays just means later senders invite us with a
  bundle we no longer have private keys for.
* Context.resolveGroupId: accept either nostr_group_id (amy's primary
  key) or the MLS GroupContext groupId (what wn emits) on every verb
  that takes a group id. Wired through GroupAdd/Remove/Leave/Metadata
  /Read, Message send/list, and all the await* verbs so harness
  scripts never have to juggle both forms for a single group.
* GroupCreateCommand: bake initial metadata into epoch 0 (see the
  quartz change above). Dropped the now-redundant bootstrap commit
  publish and tightened the JSON output to include `mls_group_id`.
* GroupMembershipCommands.leave: self-demote admin before SelfRemove;
  promote an heir if we're the only admin, otherwise the GCE would
  deplete admins and the leave aborts.
* MarmotIngest.ingestGiftWrap: unwrap the sealed-rumor layer. NIP-59
  wrap is gift-wrap(kind:1059) → seal(kind:13) → rumor; the old code
  only unwrapped once and then checked `inner.kind == 444`, which is
  always false because inner is actually the seal. Unseal once more
  before the Welcome check. This single fix is what unsticks every
  amy-side Welcome ingestion.

wn harness patches + scripts
----------------------------
* whitenoise-defaults-env.patch: honour $WHITENOISE_DISCOVERY_RELAYS in
  `Relay::defaults()` (release builds otherwise bake damus.io / primal
  / nos.lol into every new account's NIP-65 / Inbox / KeyPackage
  lists, which breaks publishing and prevents the inbox subscription
  plane from ever reaching an operational state in a sandbox).
* setup.sh: sleep 2s after amy's initial kind:30443 publish so
  nostr-rs-relay has a chance to fsync before wn's first targeted
  discovery query. Without it wn's `keys check` races the relay's
  WAL flush and intermittently returns NotFound.
* lib.sh: peel wn's `{"result": …}` wrapper in `jq_group_id`,
  `wait_for_invite`, `wait_for_message`, `wait_for_member`. Post-v0.2
  wn `--json` output nests everything under `.result` (and
  `groups invites[]` nests further under `.group.mls_group_id`) —
  these helpers were still pattern-matching on the flat shape, so
  they returned empty strings for a perfectly good response.
* tests-{create,manage,extras}.sh: track both group IDs per test
  (amy's nostr + wn's MLS), pass each CLI the id it understands, and
  bump the post-commit wait timeouts to 90–120s so wn's exponential
  retry backoff has time to work through the pre-membership commits
  it can't decrypt and get to the ones it can.

https://claude.ai/code/session_016kAxdp6ubB5CnF9URhCEzP

tools/marmot-interop/lib.sh

@@ -150,6 +150,10 @@ expect_contains() {
 #   - plain hex string (from `groups list`)
 #   - {"value":{"vec":[...]}} serde struct (from `groups create`)
 #   - flat byte array [n, ...] (from some responses)
+# Plus the three wrapper shapes wn actually uses:
+#   - {"result": {"mls_group_id": ...}}                    (groups create)
+#   - {"group": {"mls_group_id": ...}, "membership": ...}  (groups invites[0])
+#   - {"mls_group_id": ...}                                (bare)
 # Input: JSON string via stdin; optional 2nd arg = field name (default: mls_group_id)
 jq_group_id() {
     local field="${1:-mls_group_id}"
@@ -159,7 +163,8 @@ jq_group_id() {
             [($n / 16 | floor), ($n % 16)] |
             map(if . < 10 then (48 + .) else (87 + .) end) |
             implode;
-        (.result // .) |
+        (.group // .result // .) |
+        (.group // .) |
         .[$f] |
         if type == "string" then .
         elif (type == "object" and (.value.vec != null)) then
@@ -190,8 +195,11 @@ wait_for_invite() {
     deadline=$(( start + timeout ))
     last_hb=$start
     while [[ $(date +%s) -lt $deadline ]]; do
+        # Post-v0.2 `wn --json groups invites` returns `{"result": [...]}`
+        # (older builds returned the bare array). Peel the wrapper when
+        # present so a pending invite is actually detected.
         gid=$("$wnfn" --json groups invites 2>/dev/null \
-                | jq -c '.[0] // empty' 2>/dev/null | jq_group_id || true)
+                | jq -c '(.result // .) | .[0] // empty' 2>/dev/null | jq_group_id || true)
         if [[ -n "${gid:-}" ]]; then
             printf '%s\n' "$gid"
             return 0
@@ -203,7 +211,7 @@ wait_for_invite() {
             local elapsed=$(( now - start )) remaining=$(( deadline - now ))
             local pending
             pending=$("$wnfn" --json groups invites 2>/dev/null \
-                        | jq 'length' 2>/dev/null || echo "?")
+                        | jq '(.result // .) | length' 2>/dev/null || echo "?")
             local recent=""
             if [[ -f "$data_dir/logs/stderr.log" ]]; then
                 recent=$(tail -n 200 "$data_dir/logs/stderr.log" 2>/dev/null \
@@ -233,7 +241,7 @@ wait_for_message() {
         fi
         if [[ -n "${payload:-}" ]] && \
            printf '%s' "$payload" | jq -e --arg n "$needle" \
-                '.[]? | select((.content // .text // "") | contains($n))' \
+                '(.result // .) | .[]? | select((.content // .text // "") | contains($n))' \
                 >/dev/null 2>&1; then
             return 0
         fi
@@ -254,7 +262,7 @@ wait_for_member() {
             payload=$(wn_c_json groups members "$gid" 2>/dev/null || true)
         fi
         if printf '%s' "${payload:-}" | jq -e --arg p "$pubkey" \
-               '.[]? | select((.pubkey // .public_key // "") == $p)' \
+               '(.result // .) | .[]? | select((.pubkey // .public_key // "") == $p)' \
                >/dev/null 2>&1; then
             return 0
         fi